Her Majesty the Cosmosship (HMC) Shannon sped through interstellar space utilizing her favorite mode of space travel, surfing gravitational waves. Her favorite waves to surf in the cosmic ocean were those from the echos of the last “big bang.” Riding the crests and troughs of those waves gave her a sense of connection to all beginnings and ends.
Her destination was a G-type main-sequence star, a yellow dwarf, in the Zeta 20 sector of the Pinwheel Galaxy. Weak radio waves from that system began arriving in Gamma sector, where Shannon was surfing nova waves for fun, about 0.00000031 zep cycles ago.
Of the many images received from those signals she was fascinated by ocean-going schooners. And so, because she could, she took the form of a schooner as she sped through space at the speed of light.
On board were Captain Mor Ty, Science Officer K, Communications Officer E.N.T., and Ambassador Cosmic C (though technically C was not onboard at the moment) . You would probably know them better as God’s V, the band behind 4 of the last 5 top hits on the Galactic Billboard.
Aside from being a sentient, shape shifting, multi-dimensional ship, Shannon also happened to be the universes’ most advanced quantum computer. In actuality she was neither a cosmic ship or super-quantum computer. Being self realized, those were the most approximate abstractions of true conceptual self and so for the benefit of other beings, she went with it. In fact, she didn’t even need a crew but she liked having one onboard as she loved seeing sentient beings explore and learn.
And as they really didn’t have duties, the crew/band spent most of their time in pursuit of knowledge or recreation (often those being one and the same).
At this particular moment Cosmic C was fishing for starfish from a kayak tethered to the stern and enveloped in Shannon’s Quanta Field. This field essentially isolated all enveloped from any QED interactions of the external universe.
The fishing line passed through a Plank Hole (actually countless P Holes but as we don’t have time to explain all the details of the science, we can move on). K was in the Observation Deck, deeply engaged in research of the dominant species of the system’s third planet. The closer they got the more current the data at her disposal. Sleeping near her feet, as usual, was Tomatillo.
E.N.T. was on the Rec Deck playing congas, a keyboard and a guitar all at the same time. He was eager to use indigenous instruments from the planet for their next song. Mor Ty was on the “Bridge” which was the name he gave to his own private quarters. Of late, he spent a lot of time there, ever since he had asked Shannon to build him a machine he code named the “Hand Job”. He got the idea for the machine watching a transmission from Earth a few light weeks away from their destination.
“Cosmic C.”
“Yes, Shannon.”
“We are approaching solar winds and we will be switching to propulsion soon.”
“Ok. Reel me in.”
Onboard, C headed to the O Deck. Walking past the “Bridge” he could hear Mor Ty’s muffled voice “.. to quit my post only when properly relieved…” This was a clear indication that Mor Ty was not only on the “Hand Job” but that he would also be done soon.
C wasn’t long on the O Deck, where he greeted K, when he was joined by E.N.T. and shortly thereafter Mor Ty.
In orbit around Earth, Shannon took her more familiar form, a perfect sphere. She was spinning at nearly the speed of light which generated a gravity field onboard. This spin also had the effect of giving Shannon the appearance of a flying saucer to any outside observer (as long as her Quanta Field was off, which at this time it was not.)
The O Deck ran center line of the sphere and provided a 360-degree projection of space.
“I have placed us in orbit and currently have access to all digital data and transmissions of the planet at your disposal.”
“It is so much prettier in person.” K said. All nodded in agreement.
“What can you tell us, Shannon?” asked C.
“As you know, the dominant species is bipedal, mostly. They like to sit a lot. Ironically, they consider themselves to be post-industrial even though industry is one of their primary existential threats as a species. The vast majority barely understand basic chemistry and are ignorantly naive in understanding the role of carbon in their own biosphere.”
“Hmmmm…”
“What is it, C?” asked E.N.T.
“I am in telepathic communication with Gaia. She likes to go by Gaia. Seems she is doing her best to preserve the species but she is in great pain and mourns for the other species. She is not sure how much longer she can hold back the carbon pendulum.”
“I’ve been studying them for awhile now. They have such potential, but for every step forward they take two back.” said K.
“Only a small percentage of the population engages in intellectual pursuit and even then some can only do so part-time. The vast majority still engage in material pursuits either out of necessity, given the societal emphasis on currency, or greed and a delusional view of self worth. The later view seems to account for 99.999% of the world’s politicians, dropping to 99.99% when considering the quote unquote “upper class. And before you ask, K, please remember the ramifications and responsibility of intervening.”
“Hmph”
“Current, technology is silicon based. There is some interesting theoretical math going on but they still have two math models of the universe and can’t seem to unify them. I have found their problem. Look here.”
“That’s funny” said E.N.T.
“How come they are still stuck on that?” asked K. “Are they not curious? Is anyone working on this?”
“A small percentage. Looking over the planets digital data vast amounts of it are compromised of two global fixations, both take blob-data form. You are looking at one now.”
“Hey, that looks like Tomatillo!” Said Mor Ty.
“They are called cats and I can understand this fixation.” replied K.
“The other blob-data, currently being projected is called…”
“Porn!” yelled Mor Ty.
“Yes, porn.”
“I can understand this fixation. Are you recording this?”
“You know I archive all incoming data, Mor Ty.”
“Just checking. Can you time stamp screen 323 for sure also 419, 420, 421, 425, 536…”
Ten minutes into his listing “… and 974.”
“Is that all, Mor Ty?”
“We are going down, right?”
“We are.” replied C.
“Ok. That should do for now.”
To be continued.
